Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Fit for a movie

I was looking as far back in my life as I could remember when I realized that the experiences I had could make for a good movie script. I even wrote about it in my account in a social networking site and many of my friends commented on it. Some even wanting to be part of the film on my life - as if it was really going to happen. Haha.

But if it was going to be a movie, I really want Sid Lucero to play me. He is such a brilliant actor but so underrated.

There is a specific part of my life that I want to be made into a movie, it would have to be about my status. It would start off on how I got the virus, how did I learn about it, the hardships I experienced, the effect on my family, etc. The range of emotions is all there and it would be a great acting vehicle for any actor. The movie on my life can serve as a lesson to others - not to commit the same mistakes I did, much like previous movies on Aids victims Sarah Jane Salazar that starred Gelli de Belen and Dolzura Cortez starring Vilma Santos. The difference the movie on my life would be is that it involves a gay person living with HIV - his viewpoint, the difficulties he faces, experiences that are uniquely his.

A friend of mine told me to pen my life story and peddle it to the film studios. I don't have time for that but I would be open to an interview. Would a scriptwriter out there be interested in my story? Let's see.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Life can be so unfair

There are times when life can be unfair and one of those unfortunate moments happened last Monday.

It was just a few hours into my shift when I received a memorandum from my boss that contained a verbal warning for having incurred six absences without pay last May. In our company, we are only allowed to have three unpaid absences in a month. I was shocked at I felt the blood rush to my head in anger. What the fuck is this?!! I was so demoralized.

Those absences were adequately covered by 2 medical certificates and I incurred them because those were the days when I fell ill - fever and skin rashes - side effects of one of the antiretrovirals (ARVs) I was taking. I had myself checked by a doctor at RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine) and I made sure that I had medical certificates to explain my absences incurred last May 5, 6, 7, 11, 13, 14. And because I was concerned over my absences and "for love of the company," I even forced myself to work on May 12, which wasn't a good idea because I was not in good shape.

I didn't sign the memorandum right away to acknowledge its receipt and texted our administrative supervisor to ask why did I get a memorandum when I was able to submit medical certificates for it. She said she will look into it.

The next day (Tuesday), I was told that my boss instructed our administrative supervisor to issue the memorandum to me DESPITE (!) the medical certificates I submitted. Wow! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't feel like going to work that night as I lapsed into depression and because of my anger, it caused a severe strain on my relationship with my partner as a result of a quarrel I had with him over what happened at work and how unfair our boss was. He and I work in the same company and are under the same boss.

I still went to work and immediately wrote a letter to my boss, asking him to reconsider his decision to issue the memorandum and withdraw it as I explained that I submitted medical certificates to explain my absences and did so out of good faith. This, even if I know that my boss is not the kind of person who changes his mind and sticks to his decisions, even if they may be unreasonable.

Sometime during my shift, however, my elder sister chatted with me and I told her what happened. She explained to me that at the end of the day, it is really my boss's discretion to approve or disapprove leaves without pay even if they are covered by medical certificates and he was just implementing company rules. She prevailed upon me to take back my letter to my boss, which I did, after which I signed the memorandum. I told my elder sister that I still felt very aggrieved over what my boss did because I didn't want to get sick (who wants to get sick anyway?!!) and the fact remains that my absences were adequately explained by the medical certificates.

My depression carried over the next day (Wednesday). I felt so low and was not feeling well that I called in sick at work. My relationship with my partner is still strained and I told him that I would prefer to be silent lest I do or say something that might only make matters worse between us. I can see that he is doing his darnest best to reach out to me but I'd want to have time to get over my depression and anger. The reality of my status, the hardships I went through and the unfair treatment I got from my boss caused me to question my faith and question God.

Hopefully, things will be okay soon.