Confidentiality of HIV status

For a person who is HIV-positive like me, disclosing one's status to the immediate family and even to friends can be such an emotional, even psychological burden, because you can never tell how they will take it. Will they still accept you? Will they disown you? Will they shy away from you or be scared of you? One also has to consider the effect it will have on a family member who has frail health - whether young or old - if you disclose your HIV status. There are many things to think about before disclosing it.

So, it really pains and angers me when I hear of someone who carelessly tells someone else the HIV-positive status of a person, regardless of the intentions. And with what has happened, the damage has been done to the HIV-positive individual concerned and you can never take back or erase what you said like it written on a blackboard. Careless disclosure of a person's HIV-positive status may even have far-reaching consequences not only on him/her but on that person's family also. The privacy of the HIV-positive person should be respected and upheld.

Section 3 (b) (2) of Republic Act 8504 or the Philippine Aids Prevention and Control Act of 1998 provides that the right to privacy of individuals with HIV/Aids shall be guaranteed by the state. But let me stress that this does not only cover the state or the government but everyone as well.

It pays to be really careful and think many, many times before telling a friend about your HIV-positive status. Is this friend really trustworthy or is he/she be a blabbermouth?

For those who have been told by a person that he/she is HIV-positive, respecting the confidential nature of the status of a person living with HIV (PLHIV) can help unload in some way the emotional and/or psychological burden of the individual concerned instead of making things bad for him/her.

Unexpected

What I thought was going to be an uneventful evening at work turned out otherwise. The surprise that left me speechless for several seconds wasn't even work-related but involved coming out regarding my medical condition to my 19-year-old nephew.

First off, let me say that this nephew of mine is my godchild. He is the eldest of my younger sister's two kids. He WAS a black sheep in our family, so much so that he gave his mother, stepfather, us - his uncle and aunt, and younger brother heartaches and headache. I say WAS because we've noticed a welcome change in his behavior and his dealings with us recently.

I was online at Facebook when a chat window popped up. It was my nephew. Right after the hi's and hellos, he told me straight-up that his stepfather revealed my medical status to him. I was shocked and I didn't reply for almost a minute. I didn't know what to say. I was unsure how he would take it if I confirmed that I was positive for HIV, emotional and easily impressionable as he was at his age, and I was also afraid that I would lose his respect for me. I also didn't know the level of knowledge he had about HIV.

My nephew said his stepfather had to tell him my status after he insisted on knowing what it was when his stepdad committed a slip of the tongue and mentioned that I was ill. Bothered by what his stepdad said, he pestered his stepfather for days about what exactly I was ill of.

My nephew told me he felt bad with me, his mom and stepdad because we did not tell him about it right away. I had to explain to him that I had left it to his mother and stepdad the decision whether or not to tell him and his brother about my medical condition and it wasn't that easy to reveal.

I apologized that we had to keep it a secret from his at first and he understood. But what touched me the most was when he said he has been praying for me. I was teary-eyed.

I tried to gauge his level of knowledge about HIV and I could say he knows relatively well about it, presumably because he had been briefed by his stepdad about it. He only asked about the antiretrovirals that I was taking and what was it for.

Our conversation ended on a nice note and on hindsight, I was relieved that my nephew took it well and I have his love and support.