I don't mean to be morbid by choosing Deaths as the title of this post but it best describes what the topic precisely is.
In the months that I was "away" from the blogosphere, I've heard of the demise of young guys due to HIV-related ailments and complications. Two of those who passed away were dear friends.
One was more than 30 years old and a very good friend of mine. He and I belonged to a Facebook group. Before he passed away, I never knew he was HIV positive since he was full of life and ambition. Months before he died, he was in and out of the hospital because of ailments left and right. Then he expired. I was completely speechless and shocked when I learned that he died at such a young age and I had a suspicion that he was a PLHIV. My suspicion was confirmed by my friend's siblings, who revealed to me his status. They told me my friend simply gave up on living and became depressed. He stopped taking ARVs, which led to health complications. As a return gesture for revealing the status of my friend, I came out to them and we hugged each other. It was such an emotional moment. They would remind me every now and then to never give up like what their brother did. They instantly became my "sisters." We still keep in touch every now and then.
The second guy died at the age of 21. He was from the southern part of the metro. We encountered each other via Twitter as he had a poz account. We never got to meet but we'd often chat with each other via YM. Then a few months before he moved on, he was acting weird and complained of not feeling well. The next thing I knew, he passed away several hours after he was rushed to his treatment hub. I never knew the exact cause of his death but later learned from a common friend what he died of. I will not reveal here the ailment he died of to protect his privacy and his family. I was so saddened by his death and since I couldn't go to his wake, I had a Mass sponsored for the eternal repose of his soul.
Before my two friends died, I've been hearings of young guys dying left and right - presumably due to opportunistic infections. Just last week, I learned that a guy in his early 30s, a model and a regular fixture in the local gay scene, died in a hospital. I didn't know what he died of but I came across his Facebook profile. I've seen him already - I told myself.
It is really sad to learn of young guys who have died due to HIV-related illnesses - either because they learned of their status too late and medical intervention couldn't help reverse the effects of HIV infections or worse, they didn't know their status at all.
This is where it is really important to know one's HIV status as early as possible. Like I did. And I am lucky that I survived a bout of pneumonia before I learned of my status in 2010 and thankful that medical intervention is keeping the virus in me at bay. I am not rid of HIV but I have managed to "tame" it.
Showing posts with label hiv-related deaths. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hiv-related deaths. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Friday, June 17, 2011
A letter of concern and support
I have been a subscriber of the Manila Gay Guy blogsite (www.manilagayguy.net) authored by Migs. It's a well-known blog where Migs writes about gay issues and stories. He also dishes out advice to letter-senders who seek his counsel on same-sex relationship, love and other matters.
I wrote Migs a letter in reaction to his post regarding young gay men "who are dropping like flies", presumably due to HIV-related complications/ailments. I used the pseudonym "Aries". I am reprinting my letter and Migs' reply, which were posted in Migs' blog last May 29.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hello Migs.
First off, let me say that I had long been contemplating on writing to you but I always catch myself foregoing the decision for one reason or another. But your latest entry about young gay guys “dropping like flies” (if I presumed correctly – due to HIV-related complications) had pushed me to finally write this letter to you and I truly appreciate the concern you have shown about the growing HIV situation in the country by promoting safe sex, taking the test, and posting the names of clinics where HIV tests are done for free. I am a HIV-positive mature gay guy living and working in one of the cities in Metro Manila. I learned about my status late March last year after I took a rapid HIV test in a government clinic in the metro, along with my male partner of more than 2 years now, who is 10 years my junior. I received confirmation of my status almost two weeks after that initial test. My partner tested negative and still is. We are a classic example of a sero-discordant couple. I am thankful he came out negative when we both took the rapid test, considering that when I learned about my HIV status, we were already more than a year into our relationship and had engaged in unprotected sex during the early months of our affair. My partner has stuck it out with me despite knowing about my status. He didn’t ask me as to whom did I get it and how. Right at that moment after he was told by the nurse-counselor about my status, he just held my hand tightly and comforted me. On our way out of the clinic, he hugged me tight even as he put a brave front. We both decided to proceed to church where both of us poured out our emotions. As I write this, I am teary-eyed as I recall the events on that fateful day last year.
At present, I am doing very well, largely thanks to antiretroviral (ARV) treatment since my CD4 count was already below the threshold when it was measured in late April last year. My partner is very protective of me, particularly when it comes to my health. He sees to it that I take my vitamins and ARVs on time. I have also been working out to keep myself as fit as possible. After learning of my status, I have decided to embark on HIV and AIDS advocacy work, aside from my regular job, by counseling newly-diagnosed young persons living with HIV (PLHIV) via online or face-to-face, particularly on how to cope with it and what to expect. I also join online discussions on HIV and AIDS to spread awareness of those two issues.
As I mentioned earlier, the reason why I decided to write to you is because I am saddened by the spate of HIV-related deaths among young gay men. I have known of already five deaths and I am deeply saddened by it. The common denominator of those deaths is: late diagnosis. They were clinical AIDS cases and the complications were already so serious that it was too late to save them. The earlier a person knows his status, especially if he is positive, the better are his chances of coping with it well and even living up to his 50s and 60s,.
You are a well-known personality in the blogosphere and it is my hope that you will continue to help spread awareness of HIV and AIDS. A news report I came across recently said the health department had warned that 45,000 Filipinos would be infected with HIV by the year 2016 unless drastic steps are taken by both the public and private sectors to aggressively spread awareness of HIV and AIDS and promote safe sex and other means to stop the health menace from worsening. The health department, non-government groups (NGOs) catering to PLHIVs, and advocates like me can only do so much to keep the HIV and AIDS situation at bay. Everybody – regardless of sexual orientation – has to pitch in the campaign.
Thank you once again for your concern and more power to you.
Aries
* * *
Dear Aries,
It is my pleasure to publish your letter here. I can feel your overflowing generosity and desire to reach out to our community. I particularly liked your letter because it shows that HIV can be a non-issue between partners. As the original song by Nar Cabico says (dedicated to HIV poz friends), “you can still love, and yes BE LOVED.”
One of our regular readers here is Jake who is also HIV-positive and has embarked on an advocacy to help more and more people get educated and tested. It is my honor to connect you two. His email address is monkeyboy589@yahoo.com, please reach out to him.
I send you positive thoughts and wishes of well-being. I am so touched by your partner’s love and loyalty to you — hugs to you both! May you and your partner be blessed with vibrant health and many, many happy years together. World Peace!
Migs
I wrote Migs a letter in reaction to his post regarding young gay men "who are dropping like flies", presumably due to HIV-related complications/ailments. I used the pseudonym "Aries". I am reprinting my letter and Migs' reply, which were posted in Migs' blog last May 29.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hello Migs.
First off, let me say that I had long been contemplating on writing to you but I always catch myself foregoing the decision for one reason or another. But your latest entry about young gay guys “dropping like flies” (if I presumed correctly – due to HIV-related complications) had pushed me to finally write this letter to you and I truly appreciate the concern you have shown about the growing HIV situation in the country by promoting safe sex, taking the test, and posting the names of clinics where HIV tests are done for free. I am a HIV-positive mature gay guy living and working in one of the cities in Metro Manila. I learned about my status late March last year after I took a rapid HIV test in a government clinic in the metro, along with my male partner of more than 2 years now, who is 10 years my junior. I received confirmation of my status almost two weeks after that initial test. My partner tested negative and still is. We are a classic example of a sero-discordant couple. I am thankful he came out negative when we both took the rapid test, considering that when I learned about my HIV status, we were already more than a year into our relationship and had engaged in unprotected sex during the early months of our affair. My partner has stuck it out with me despite knowing about my status. He didn’t ask me as to whom did I get it and how. Right at that moment after he was told by the nurse-counselor about my status, he just held my hand tightly and comforted me. On our way out of the clinic, he hugged me tight even as he put a brave front. We both decided to proceed to church where both of us poured out our emotions. As I write this, I am teary-eyed as I recall the events on that fateful day last year.
At present, I am doing very well, largely thanks to antiretroviral (ARV) treatment since my CD4 count was already below the threshold when it was measured in late April last year. My partner is very protective of me, particularly when it comes to my health. He sees to it that I take my vitamins and ARVs on time. I have also been working out to keep myself as fit as possible. After learning of my status, I have decided to embark on HIV and AIDS advocacy work, aside from my regular job, by counseling newly-diagnosed young persons living with HIV (PLHIV) via online or face-to-face, particularly on how to cope with it and what to expect. I also join online discussions on HIV and AIDS to spread awareness of those two issues.
As I mentioned earlier, the reason why I decided to write to you is because I am saddened by the spate of HIV-related deaths among young gay men. I have known of already five deaths and I am deeply saddened by it. The common denominator of those deaths is: late diagnosis. They were clinical AIDS cases and the complications were already so serious that it was too late to save them. The earlier a person knows his status, especially if he is positive, the better are his chances of coping with it well and even living up to his 50s and 60s,.
You are a well-known personality in the blogosphere and it is my hope that you will continue to help spread awareness of HIV and AIDS. A news report I came across recently said the health department had warned that 45,000 Filipinos would be infected with HIV by the year 2016 unless drastic steps are taken by both the public and private sectors to aggressively spread awareness of HIV and AIDS and promote safe sex and other means to stop the health menace from worsening. The health department, non-government groups (NGOs) catering to PLHIVs, and advocates like me can only do so much to keep the HIV and AIDS situation at bay. Everybody – regardless of sexual orientation – has to pitch in the campaign.
Thank you once again for your concern and more power to you.
Aries
* * *
Dear Aries,
It is my pleasure to publish your letter here. I can feel your overflowing generosity and desire to reach out to our community. I particularly liked your letter because it shows that HIV can be a non-issue between partners. As the original song by Nar Cabico says (dedicated to HIV poz friends), “you can still love, and yes BE LOVED.”
One of our regular readers here is Jake who is also HIV-positive and has embarked on an advocacy to help more and more people get educated and tested. It is my honor to connect you two. His email address is monkeyboy589@yahoo.com, please reach out to him.
I send you positive thoughts and wishes of well-being. I am so touched by your partner’s love and loyalty to you — hugs to you both! May you and your partner be blessed with vibrant health and many, many happy years together. World Peace!
Migs
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Anger and sadness
Let me just get this off my chest first.
This morning, I opened my account in a social networking site and read a private message from a friend who informed me that I was mentioned in a post of a pozzie in his blog/journal/diary whatever-you-may-want-to-call-it so I looked for the journal based on the info provided by my friend. To my utter shock and dismay, I found out that the journal writer was someone I had a heated exchange in private sometime last February about a bad kind of advice he posted in the forum on HIV and Aids of Pinoyexchange.com. Since I am more responsible that he is, I won't mention his name and the URL of his online journal at tumblr. com. Anyway, this pozzie posted a private conversation we had over at Yahoo messenger wherein I advised him to be more circumspect and careful when it comes to dishing out advice to other pozzies, especially to those who are newly-diagnosed. What the fuck!! And for what reason did he post what was supposed to be a private conversation?!
I immediately texted the erring pozzie and told him what I discovered and what I can possibly do against him for his post. His reply? "Easy easy. And cd4 mo. Delete ko na." Just that. The nerve! So I told him to think twice before posting anything that might incriminate someone. I checked his journal and the post is gone indeed.
To all poz bloggers out there, please be more careful about posting anything that might put someone, especially a fellow pozzie, in a bad light.
Anyway, going to another topic. I am saddened by the recent HIV-related deaths. I learned of three deaths in just a span of two weeks. The first one, a newly-diagnosed pozzie, died of an opportunistic infection (OI) in a hospital in the metro, the second one died in a treatment hub, and the third one died in his hometown of an OI as well. All three were in the prime of their lives when they passed away.
In the first case, I don't know if his parents knew about his status but it is presumed that his partner does. To make matters even bad after the demise of their son, the parents spent thousands of pesos for tests and the hospitalization.
As for the second case, the pozzie who is from somewhere in southern Philippines passed away in the treatment hub where he had been confined and only his partner was with him. The predicament faced by the partner of the deceased is that the parents of the pozzie didn't know about the status of their son or his death. So sad.
In the third case, a poz friend of mine called up me up last Sunday and informed me that his ex-boyfriend of 7 years had passed away in his hometown in southern Luzon due to HIV-related complications. His ex-partner had been in denial about his status and didn't undergo medical intervention.
Those were very sad news indeed. I hope they rest in peace and may God comfort and strengthen the loved ones they left behind.
This morning, I opened my account in a social networking site and read a private message from a friend who informed me that I was mentioned in a post of a pozzie in his blog/journal/diary whatever-you-may-want-to-call-it so I looked for the journal based on the info provided by my friend. To my utter shock and dismay, I found out that the journal writer was someone I had a heated exchange in private sometime last February about a bad kind of advice he posted in the forum on HIV and Aids of Pinoyexchange.com. Since I am more responsible that he is, I won't mention his name and the URL of his online journal at tumblr. com. Anyway, this pozzie posted a private conversation we had over at Yahoo messenger wherein I advised him to be more circumspect and careful when it comes to dishing out advice to other pozzies, especially to those who are newly-diagnosed. What the fuck!! And for what reason did he post what was supposed to be a private conversation?!
I immediately texted the erring pozzie and told him what I discovered and what I can possibly do against him for his post. His reply? "Easy easy. And cd4 mo. Delete ko na." Just that. The nerve! So I told him to think twice before posting anything that might incriminate someone. I checked his journal and the post is gone indeed.
To all poz bloggers out there, please be more careful about posting anything that might put someone, especially a fellow pozzie, in a bad light.
Anyway, going to another topic. I am saddened by the recent HIV-related deaths. I learned of three deaths in just a span of two weeks. The first one, a newly-diagnosed pozzie, died of an opportunistic infection (OI) in a hospital in the metro, the second one died in a treatment hub, and the third one died in his hometown of an OI as well. All three were in the prime of their lives when they passed away.
In the first case, I don't know if his parents knew about his status but it is presumed that his partner does. To make matters even bad after the demise of their son, the parents spent thousands of pesos for tests and the hospitalization.
As for the second case, the pozzie who is from somewhere in southern Philippines passed away in the treatment hub where he had been confined and only his partner was with him. The predicament faced by the partner of the deceased is that the parents of the pozzie didn't know about the status of their son or his death. So sad.
In the third case, a poz friend of mine called up me up last Sunday and informed me that his ex-boyfriend of 7 years had passed away in his hometown in southern Luzon due to HIV-related complications. His ex-partner had been in denial about his status and didn't undergo medical intervention.
Those were very sad news indeed. I hope they rest in peace and may God comfort and strengthen the loved ones they left behind.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)