June 25. After I got off from work at 6 a.m., I took a quick nap and left the house at past 10 a.m. I arrived at RITM past noon for my follow-up CBC as scheduled and proceeded to the lounge since I expected the clinic to be closed. I chanced upon the lounge staff having their lunch and gave them a box of donuts that I had bought as "pasalubong."
At 1 p.m., I went to the clinical laboratory for my blood extraction and after less than 2 minutes, I went back to the lounge to wait for the CBC results. I was optimistic that my hemoglobin count would be higher than then 123 that I registered in late May since I was already taking ferrous sulfate and eating as much green leafy veggies as well as bitter gourd (ampalaya).
When the results arrived at the clinic, Ate Ana called for me and the doctor told me that my hemoglobin count went down a notch. From 123, it now was 122. What?! Haaay. Anyway, the doctor said I will have to return to RITM next month for yet another CBC. The good news is my lami-zido has not been replaced. I also had to replenish my supply so I was given three months worth of ARVs.
I was through with what I needed to do in RITM at past 4 and I hitched a ride with AA. We picked up my partner at Festival Mall then off we went to pick up A in Manila, who asked AA if he could bring him to San Miguel, Bulacan to pick up a laptop, and then AA's partner, J, in Quezon City. We got to San Miguel, Bulacan at past 9 p.m. and since we were near Gapan, Nueva Ecija, we decided to go there for quick dinner at Jollibee. We arrived back in Manila past 12. T'was surely a tiring day.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Revelation and surprise
Just as I was thinking of something to blog about since I haven't updated this for quite sometime now, something came up. Talk about timing.
A friend of mine, who I've known way back 2001 or 2002 and who I had a short-lived romance, suddenly chatted with me in private over at Facebook and asked how I was. Let's call this friend of mine as "D". At first, I thought the conversation was just the usual "hey-how have you been-what's up with you" type of chat. It turned out otherwise.
D asked if I still frequented Morato where an ex of mine co-owns a bar. D and I chanced upon each other in my ex's bar sometime in 2007. I said not anymore, after that former lover and I broke up. The reason he asked me was because he wanted to talk to me and hoped that he and I could meet up. I told D we get to seldom meet and if ever we get to interact, it's through Facebook so I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to say.
Without any hesitation, he told me he was positive and he learned of his status in 2007. His partner, who is a friend of mine as well, is negative. He came out to me because he said he wanted to tell all his exes. Although he and I didn't have sex during our short-lived romance and the most we did was torrid kissing, he said he felt that he still had the obligation to tell me. It was a touching gesture on D's part and in return, I came out to him also. I also told him my partner is negative as well. He took it well and we shared experiences and the travails of being poz.
Anyway, aside from wanting to inform his exes about his status, D also said he came out to me after he met someone from a poz group in my home province and in the course of their conversation, D rattled off names of people he know who are in Manila now but are from my home province. When my name came up, that person reacted "oddly" as D described it. So D asked that person if I was poz. The person only told D to ask me. That person could have flatly said No and instead left doubts on D's mind. Sigh. Of all people who would implicitly reveal my status, it had to be someone from my home province instead of someone from here in Manila. To be honest about it, I already half expect my status to come out in the public sooner or later from someone here who knows about it. Maybe by accident or borne out of revenge.
Need I remind those in the poz community that Republic Act (RA) 8504 contains responsibilities for pozzies that include a prohibition against implicitly or explicitly revealing the HIV status of a person.
I hope to meet D again one day after a long time so we can catch up on each other's lives and perhaps he can remember who was that person who implicitly "outed" me. At the end of our chat, I thanked D for coming out to me and trusting me with his secret as I assured him that it is safe with me.
A friend of mine, who I've known way back 2001 or 2002 and who I had a short-lived romance, suddenly chatted with me in private over at Facebook and asked how I was. Let's call this friend of mine as "D". At first, I thought the conversation was just the usual "hey-how have you been-what's up with you" type of chat. It turned out otherwise.
D asked if I still frequented Morato where an ex of mine co-owns a bar. D and I chanced upon each other in my ex's bar sometime in 2007. I said not anymore, after that former lover and I broke up. The reason he asked me was because he wanted to talk to me and hoped that he and I could meet up. I told D we get to seldom meet and if ever we get to interact, it's through Facebook so I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to say.
Without any hesitation, he told me he was positive and he learned of his status in 2007. His partner, who is a friend of mine as well, is negative. He came out to me because he said he wanted to tell all his exes. Although he and I didn't have sex during our short-lived romance and the most we did was torrid kissing, he said he felt that he still had the obligation to tell me. It was a touching gesture on D's part and in return, I came out to him also. I also told him my partner is negative as well. He took it well and we shared experiences and the travails of being poz.
Anyway, aside from wanting to inform his exes about his status, D also said he came out to me after he met someone from a poz group in my home province and in the course of their conversation, D rattled off names of people he know who are in Manila now but are from my home province. When my name came up, that person reacted "oddly" as D described it. So D asked that person if I was poz. The person only told D to ask me. That person could have flatly said No and instead left doubts on D's mind. Sigh. Of all people who would implicitly reveal my status, it had to be someone from my home province instead of someone from here in Manila. To be honest about it, I already half expect my status to come out in the public sooner or later from someone here who knows about it. Maybe by accident or borne out of revenge.
Need I remind those in the poz community that Republic Act (RA) 8504 contains responsibilities for pozzies that include a prohibition against implicitly or explicitly revealing the HIV status of a person.
I hope to meet D again one day after a long time so we can catch up on each other's lives and perhaps he can remember who was that person who implicitly "outed" me. At the end of our chat, I thanked D for coming out to me and trusting me with his secret as I assured him that it is safe with me.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A double whammy
Nothing prepared for me for what happened last Monday, June 7. It was like being doused with ice-cold water - twice!
I went to RITM to have my infected acne (one on my chin and the other just below the left nostril) checked by the dermatologist and find out what were the marks I noticed and felt on the right side of my neck and nape that looked like allergy. I was really hoping it was not shingles.
I called up Dr. Ditangco's clinic early in the morning and informed them that I was coming for a checkup and so they can ready my records. I was told the dermatologist was available at 3 p.m. yet afternoon yet so I dropped by the clinic first where I found Zairah and a new pozzie getting up from bed, visibly ill and suffering from rashes due to the ARVs he was taking. He was accompanied by his elder brother. We proceeded to the lounge where I found Dr. Ditangco, the staff and 2 other pozzies there. The new pozzie went to the small room cum kitchen to rest and I took my place at the sofa to watch TV. Lunch (chicken afritada) cooked by Ate Ellen was served and I talked to the brother of the new pozzie. Since I was inspired and "renewed" after I had attended the self-empowerment seminar conducted by Dr. Ditangco's sister, Dra. Rita, over the weekend at the Citystate Tower Hotel in Ermita, Manila, I provided support and advice to the pozzie's brother and told him that the fever and rashes that his brother is experiencing are just temporary. I shared how I dealt with the side effects of the ARVs. After awhile, the pozzie and his brother had to go to the clinic because the doctor on duty was already there.
At 3 p.m., Ate Ellen accompanied me to the dermatologist. After the standard interview and physical examination, my worst fear was confirmed - I had herpes zoster or shingles. What??!! Where did I get this?! The docs who attended to me explained that low resistance and stress may have caused it. Shingles, I was also told, is a recurrence of the chickenpox I suffered from when I was a kid. I was asked if I had chickenpox before but told the doctors I don't remember. Anyway, I was prescribed medicines for the shingles and for my infected acne. I informed Dr. Ditangco and the other staffers what I had and then went to the clinic to find out if any of the prescribed medicines were available. I went to the pharmacy and had an unpleasant run-in with one of the employees there when I checked with them if they had the prescribed medicines. Luckily, they had most of it.
I went back to the clinic with my medicines from the pharmacy, and got the biggest shock of the day. When I entered the clinic, I saw Dr. C., a very good friend of mine, who I found out worked at the RITM as a consultant. He was visibly shocked to see me there and asked what was I doing in the clinic? I panicked and said I was following up something. Dr. C had to leave the clinic because he had a patient to attend to. I was so affected by what happened up until I got home. I mustered enough guts to call Dr. C and came out to him about my status. He said he wasn't surprised since those who would go to Dr Ditangco's clinic were pozzies. I related all the events prior to my taking the HIV test and how I am dealing with my status. He told me not to be surprised if I find other people I know (close or acquaintances) having a checkup at RITM. I didn't ask who was he referring to. Dr. C told me to take it easy and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I heaved a sigh of relief after the call.
Two shockers in one day was enough to rattle me and I hope it doesn't happen again. As for my shingles, I am recovering just fine and I hope they don't leave any scars.
I went to RITM to have my infected acne (one on my chin and the other just below the left nostril) checked by the dermatologist and find out what were the marks I noticed and felt on the right side of my neck and nape that looked like allergy. I was really hoping it was not shingles.
I called up Dr. Ditangco's clinic early in the morning and informed them that I was coming for a checkup and so they can ready my records. I was told the dermatologist was available at 3 p.m. yet afternoon yet so I dropped by the clinic first where I found Zairah and a new pozzie getting up from bed, visibly ill and suffering from rashes due to the ARVs he was taking. He was accompanied by his elder brother. We proceeded to the lounge where I found Dr. Ditangco, the staff and 2 other pozzies there. The new pozzie went to the small room cum kitchen to rest and I took my place at the sofa to watch TV. Lunch (chicken afritada) cooked by Ate Ellen was served and I talked to the brother of the new pozzie. Since I was inspired and "renewed" after I had attended the self-empowerment seminar conducted by Dr. Ditangco's sister, Dra. Rita, over the weekend at the Citystate Tower Hotel in Ermita, Manila, I provided support and advice to the pozzie's brother and told him that the fever and rashes that his brother is experiencing are just temporary. I shared how I dealt with the side effects of the ARVs. After awhile, the pozzie and his brother had to go to the clinic because the doctor on duty was already there.
At 3 p.m., Ate Ellen accompanied me to the dermatologist. After the standard interview and physical examination, my worst fear was confirmed - I had herpes zoster or shingles. What??!! Where did I get this?! The docs who attended to me explained that low resistance and stress may have caused it. Shingles, I was also told, is a recurrence of the chickenpox I suffered from when I was a kid. I was asked if I had chickenpox before but told the doctors I don't remember. Anyway, I was prescribed medicines for the shingles and for my infected acne. I informed Dr. Ditangco and the other staffers what I had and then went to the clinic to find out if any of the prescribed medicines were available. I went to the pharmacy and had an unpleasant run-in with one of the employees there when I checked with them if they had the prescribed medicines. Luckily, they had most of it.
I went back to the clinic with my medicines from the pharmacy, and got the biggest shock of the day. When I entered the clinic, I saw Dr. C., a very good friend of mine, who I found out worked at the RITM as a consultant. He was visibly shocked to see me there and asked what was I doing in the clinic? I panicked and said I was following up something. Dr. C had to leave the clinic because he had a patient to attend to. I was so affected by what happened up until I got home. I mustered enough guts to call Dr. C and came out to him about my status. He said he wasn't surprised since those who would go to Dr Ditangco's clinic were pozzies. I related all the events prior to my taking the HIV test and how I am dealing with my status. He told me not to be surprised if I find other people I know (close or acquaintances) having a checkup at RITM. I didn't ask who was he referring to. Dr. C told me to take it easy and to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I heaved a sigh of relief after the call.
Two shockers in one day was enough to rattle me and I hope it doesn't happen again. As for my shingles, I am recovering just fine and I hope they don't leave any scars.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Getting there...slowly but surely
I will never forget the month of May this year. The month when I fell very ill - side effects of the ARVs I am taking. It started with fever then I had two waves of skin rashes. On top of that, I had allergy from the salted fish I had for breakfast one time. I should really be careful of what I eat while my body is adjusting to the ARVs.
As a result, I incurred several days of absences from work and deductions from my salary because I ran out of paid leaves already. Sigh.
As of today, May 31, I still haven't gotten back my strength and appetite completely but I hope to do so in the weeks to come after getting as much rest and taking multivitamins to compensate for the lack of nourishment.
One thing is for sure, I am recovering well....slowly but surely.
As a result, I incurred several days of absences from work and deductions from my salary because I ran out of paid leaves already. Sigh.
As of today, May 31, I still haven't gotten back my strength and appetite completely but I hope to do so in the weeks to come after getting as much rest and taking multivitamins to compensate for the lack of nourishment.
One thing is for sure, I am recovering well....slowly but surely.
Friday, May 28, 2010
I can't thank you enough
To my Significant Other,
It has been 21 months since we decided to get into a commitment. And I am happy that we are still together up to now because to be frank about it, I wasn't expecting it since we met through a defunct gay website that was known to be a venue to cruise for casual sex. But we've managed to hurdle all sorts of challenges.
Let me thank you for being there for me, for not leaving me despite the many times I was difficult to deal with. It was August of last year when I fell gravely ill and I remembered how you cried because you were afraid you lost me. But I survived it. Little did we know that it was the start of our Calvary.
Then March came, I got hospitalized for pneumonia, something we both were wondering how did I contract it. Then we decided to take the rapid HIV antibody test upon the prodding of a friend because pneumonia is an opportunistic infection that can strike down a HIV-positive individual. I was supposed to take the test only but you decided to take it as well. You came out non-reactive but it was the opposite for me. Our world crashed. I could only cry on your shoulder as we held hands tightly. On our way out of the clinic, you hugged me and I had to stop myself from bawling my heart out, ashamed of people who might see us. We went to Greenbelt chapel where I prayed hard and sought God's forgiveness. We also talked things over and what really tugged my heart was when you said you would not leave me, no matter what, and that you still love me as much as the first time. Then we both broke down. At home, we were locked in a tight embrace in bed as tears continued to flow. We will manage and ride through the crisis, you'd tell me over and over again.
No words are really enough to express my gratitude to you for not giving up on me, for telling me to hang on several times even if I so much wanted to give up because I couldn't stand anymore the pain and discomfort I was going through.
I love you. So much. Happy monthsary.
*Juan*
It has been 21 months since we decided to get into a commitment. And I am happy that we are still together up to now because to be frank about it, I wasn't expecting it since we met through a defunct gay website that was known to be a venue to cruise for casual sex. But we've managed to hurdle all sorts of challenges.
Let me thank you for being there for me, for not leaving me despite the many times I was difficult to deal with. It was August of last year when I fell gravely ill and I remembered how you cried because you were afraid you lost me. But I survived it. Little did we know that it was the start of our Calvary.
Then March came, I got hospitalized for pneumonia, something we both were wondering how did I contract it. Then we decided to take the rapid HIV antibody test upon the prodding of a friend because pneumonia is an opportunistic infection that can strike down a HIV-positive individual. I was supposed to take the test only but you decided to take it as well. You came out non-reactive but it was the opposite for me. Our world crashed. I could only cry on your shoulder as we held hands tightly. On our way out of the clinic, you hugged me and I had to stop myself from bawling my heart out, ashamed of people who might see us. We went to Greenbelt chapel where I prayed hard and sought God's forgiveness. We also talked things over and what really tugged my heart was when you said you would not leave me, no matter what, and that you still love me as much as the first time. Then we both broke down. At home, we were locked in a tight embrace in bed as tears continued to flow. We will manage and ride through the crisis, you'd tell me over and over again.
No words are really enough to express my gratitude to you for not giving up on me, for telling me to hang on several times even if I so much wanted to give up because I couldn't stand anymore the pain and discomfort I was going through.
I love you. So much. Happy monthsary.
*Juan*
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I need iron!
I went to RITM early Tuesday morning for my scheduled complete blood count (CBC) to find out if the Lamivudine + Zidovudine, one of the ARVs I am taking, has not depleted or reduced my hemoglobin level. It has been known to have that side effect. Aside from my scheduled CBC, I also had to get a fresh supply of ARVs since I was running out of stock.
But first, what is hemoglobin? Medicinenet.com defines hemoglobin "as the protein molecule in red blood cells that carries oxygen from the lungs to the body's tissues and returns carbon dioxide from the tissues to the lungs. It is made up of four protein molecules (globulin chains) that are connected together. Each globulin chain contains an important central structure called the heme molecule. Embedded within the heme molecule is iron that transports the oxygen and carbon dioxide in our blood. The iron contained in hemoglobin is also responsible for the red color of blood."
After taking a nap for an hour at home after getting off from work at 6 a.m., I went to RITM and arrived there past 9 a.m. I proceeded to the clinical lab so a blood sample can be extracted from me for the CBC and then I went to the patient's lounge to await the results.
During the wait, I began to itch on my arms and legs and saw red patches appear on the underside of my arms. Oh not, not again! Let this not be a third wave of rashes from the Nevirapine I used to take. I realized later that I was having allergic reaction to the dried fish I had for breakfast earlier. Sigh.
Six hours later, Ate Ana called for me and the doctor on duty informed me that my hemoglogin level has dropped from a little over 150 to the 120s range (the same level as that of a female's!). Tsk tsk. So I was prescribed ferrous sulfate and told to eat green, leafy veggies and animal liver to boost my hemoglobin level. I could take the veggies but not animal liver. Yuck! I also consulted her about my allergy and was prescribed antihistamines.
AA, a fellow pozzie who accompanied a newbie to RITM, told me that my allergy and immune systems are very sensitive and will continue to be that way for the next six months as my blood undergoes reconstitution with the ARVs I am taking so I have to watch carefully what I eat.
The doc said I have to stay away from salty food, poultry, fish, peanuts, milk in the meantime.
My next CBC will be on June 25 and by then, the ferrous sulfate and veggies have worked wonders for my hemoglobin so that my ARV does not have to be replaced by another medicine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
But first, what is hemoglobin? Medicinenet.com defines hemoglobin "as the protein molecule in red blood cells that carries oxygen from the lungs to the body's tissues and returns carbon dioxide from the tissues to the lungs. It is made up of four protein molecules (globulin chains) that are connected together. Each globulin chain contains an important central structure called the heme molecule. Embedded within the heme molecule is iron that transports the oxygen and carbon dioxide in our blood. The iron contained in hemoglobin is also responsible for the red color of blood."
After taking a nap for an hour at home after getting off from work at 6 a.m., I went to RITM and arrived there past 9 a.m. I proceeded to the clinical lab so a blood sample can be extracted from me for the CBC and then I went to the patient's lounge to await the results.
During the wait, I began to itch on my arms and legs and saw red patches appear on the underside of my arms. Oh not, not again! Let this not be a third wave of rashes from the Nevirapine I used to take. I realized later that I was having allergic reaction to the dried fish I had for breakfast earlier. Sigh.
Six hours later, Ate Ana called for me and the doctor on duty informed me that my hemoglogin level has dropped from a little over 150 to the 120s range (the same level as that of a female's!). Tsk tsk. So I was prescribed ferrous sulfate and told to eat green, leafy veggies and animal liver to boost my hemoglobin level. I could take the veggies but not animal liver. Yuck! I also consulted her about my allergy and was prescribed antihistamines.
AA, a fellow pozzie who accompanied a newbie to RITM, told me that my allergy and immune systems are very sensitive and will continue to be that way for the next six months as my blood undergoes reconstitution with the ARVs I am taking so I have to watch carefully what I eat.
The doc said I have to stay away from salty food, poultry, fish, peanuts, milk in the meantime.
My next CBC will be on June 25 and by then, the ferrous sulfate and veggies have worked wonders for my hemoglobin so that my ARV does not have to be replaced by another medicine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Appalling
About 2 months ago, I signed up as a member of a Philippine-based forum and have been posting items on the Aids/HIV thread as part of my personal advocacy to increase awareness of the health issue. I have come out in that thread as a HIV-positive individual and for self protection, I use a codename only.
I have received quite a number of personal messages of encouragement, support and inquiries but what appalled me is the amount of misinformation about HIV/Aids and how it breeds so much baseless anxiety.
Let me cite two personal messages I received.
One from a married guy who suspects he has HIV simply because he noticed a drastic change in his build and stamina compared to his younger years. He didn't mention any symptom of HIV infection. He also said he is afraid that if he turns out positive of HIV, he would lose his job and thus his family would suffer and that he would be "herded by the health department into a facility for HIV-positive individuals and kept there for the rest of his life." To be honest, I found it funny and felt sorry for the guy.
The second personal message was from someone (I wasn't sure if the letter-sender was male or female), who revealed that their housemate turned out HIV-positive when the latter underwent a test as part of pre-employment requirements for a job abroad. The letter-sender asked for advice on what to do and was fearful of contracting HIV from their housemate.
In response to the first letter, I asked the guy if he has any physical symptoms of HIV infection aside from a drastic change in his body build. I recommended that the guy undergo a medical checkup to find out what's really wrong with him and take a HIV test as well to determine his status. I also said HIV-positive individuals are NOT herded into a facility and imprisoned there. I likewise told him that HIV-positive individuals are protected by a law against discrimination (including termination from one's job because of one's HIV status) and they can still lead healthy and productive lives as long as they live healthy, eat healthy, and take their prescribed medicines religiously. As for the second letter, I assured the letter-sender that he or she need not fear getting infected by their housemate through a mere handshake, use of the same comfort room, staying in the same room, sharing of utensils, among others because HIV is not an airborne virus and can only be transmitted mainly through unprotected sex and sharing of needles (among drug addicts).
In their respective replies, they thanked me for clarifying matters and allaying their fears.
This goes to show how some people still need to be taught adequately about Aids and HIV because really, the lack of information can result in unjustified fear.
I have received quite a number of personal messages of encouragement, support and inquiries but what appalled me is the amount of misinformation about HIV/Aids and how it breeds so much baseless anxiety.
Let me cite two personal messages I received.
One from a married guy who suspects he has HIV simply because he noticed a drastic change in his build and stamina compared to his younger years. He didn't mention any symptom of HIV infection. He also said he is afraid that if he turns out positive of HIV, he would lose his job and thus his family would suffer and that he would be "herded by the health department into a facility for HIV-positive individuals and kept there for the rest of his life." To be honest, I found it funny and felt sorry for the guy.
The second personal message was from someone (I wasn't sure if the letter-sender was male or female), who revealed that their housemate turned out HIV-positive when the latter underwent a test as part of pre-employment requirements for a job abroad. The letter-sender asked for advice on what to do and was fearful of contracting HIV from their housemate.
In response to the first letter, I asked the guy if he has any physical symptoms of HIV infection aside from a drastic change in his body build. I recommended that the guy undergo a medical checkup to find out what's really wrong with him and take a HIV test as well to determine his status. I also said HIV-positive individuals are NOT herded into a facility and imprisoned there. I likewise told him that HIV-positive individuals are protected by a law against discrimination (including termination from one's job because of one's HIV status) and they can still lead healthy and productive lives as long as they live healthy, eat healthy, and take their prescribed medicines religiously. As for the second letter, I assured the letter-sender that he or she need not fear getting infected by their housemate through a mere handshake, use of the same comfort room, staying in the same room, sharing of utensils, among others because HIV is not an airborne virus and can only be transmitted mainly through unprotected sex and sharing of needles (among drug addicts).
In their respective replies, they thanked me for clarifying matters and allaying their fears.
This goes to show how some people still need to be taught adequately about Aids and HIV because really, the lack of information can result in unjustified fear.
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