My 1st brush with discrimination

The discrimination I am talking about here is not at me but against another person living with HIV (PLHIV) . I don't know who the PLHIV is but I felt bad and I had to go to his defense without giving rise to suspicions that I am a PLHIV too.

Here's the story:

Thanks to Facebook, I reconnected with a male friend (let's call him Mr. Big - feeling like Carrie Bradshaw of SATC hehe) after a long time. We first met through a gay social networking website several years ago and for awhile, there was something romantic that went on between us but it fizzled when we lost touch with each other. Anyway, he saw my comment on a post of a common friend (let's call him Chinky Eyes) that we had in Facebook and Mr. Big sent me a private message. When I saw Mr. Big's profile picture, I told myself this guy looks very familiar until I added him up as a friend and saw his other photos. It was then I remembered who he was.

In our chat, Mr. Big and I updated each other on what has happened since the last time we met and what have we been up to. During the course of our conversation, Mr. Big mentioned that he joined an outdoor activity group in one of its out-of-town activities upon the invitation of Chinky Eyes, who was a member of that group. He didn't join the succeeding activities because he found some members of the group "wishy-washy" (I don't exactly know what he meant by that) and that one member of the group was HIV-positive. From the way he said it, it seemed like he found it gross to be with a PLHIV. He also also didn't want to be part of the group anymore because he was afraid that they might engage in drug sessions using injectibles with the PLHIV joining in as well (an unfair presumption, I must say). So I asked him how did he know the status of that group member concerned. He got it from three independent sources and all pointed to the same guy as a PLHIV. To quote, he also said the guy "had the look (of a PLHIV) and the skin tone." I told myself Mr. Big needs to be educated well about HIV and AIDS because you can never tell if someone is a PLHIV based on looks and skin tone alone - sigh. I felt sorry for the unidentified PLHIV and told Mr. Big that his sources committed a violation of Republic Act (RA) 8504 by identifying him and even revealing the status. Mr Big said the PLHIV still engages in casual sex (he is unsure if the PLHIV does it safely) because the PLHIV has an account in a gay cruise/hookup site.

I changed the topic as I already felt awkward but inside me, it was a scary thought that the PLHIV concerned may still be engaging in unsafe sex. I must admit that I still hear of some irresponsible PLHIVs who do so, with nary a concern for those they have sex with. I also felt utter disappointment at Mr. Big and his attitude toward PLHIVs. Then I wondered.... would Mr. Big still keep in touch with me again (after several years of silence between us) if he knew I was a PLHIV too? Your guess is as good as mine.

Revelation and surprise

Just as I was thinking of something to blog about since I haven't updated this for quite sometime now, something came up. Talk about timing.

A friend of mine, who I've known way back 2001 or 2002 and who I had a short-lived romance, suddenly chatted with me in private over at Facebook and asked how I was. Let's call this friend of mine as "D". At first, I thought the conversation was just the usual "hey-how have you been-what's up with you" type of chat. It turned out otherwise.

D asked if I still frequented Morato where an ex of mine co-owns a bar. D and I chanced upon each other in my ex's bar sometime in 2007. I said not anymore, after that former lover and I broke up. The reason he asked me was because he wanted to talk to me and hoped that he and I could meet up. I told D we get to seldom meet and if ever we get to interact, it's through Facebook so I prodded him to tell me what he wanted to say.

Without any hesitation, he told me he was positive and he learned of his status in 2007. His partner, who is a friend of mine as well, is negative. He came out to me because he said he wanted to tell all his exes. Although he and I didn't have sex during our short-lived romance and the most we did was torrid kissing, he said he felt that he still had the obligation to tell me. It was a touching gesture on D's part and in return, I came out to him also. I also told him my partner is negative as well. He took it well and we shared experiences and the travails of being poz.

Anyway, aside from wanting to inform his exes about his status, D also said he came out to me after he met someone from a poz group in my home province and in the course of their conversation, D rattled off names of people he know who are in Manila now but are from my home province. When my name came up, that person reacted "oddly" as D described it. So D asked that person if I was poz. The person only told D to ask me. That person could have flatly said No and instead left doubts on D's mind. Sigh. Of all people who would implicitly reveal my status, it had to be someone from my home province instead of someone from here in Manila. To be honest about it, I already half expect my status to come out in the public sooner or later from someone here who knows about it. Maybe by accident or borne out of revenge.

Need I remind those in the poz community that Republic Act (RA) 8504 contains responsibilities for pozzies that include a prohibition against implicitly or explicitly revealing the HIV status of a person.

I hope to meet D again one day after a long time so we can catch up on each other's lives and perhaps he can remember who was that person who implicitly "outed" me. At the end of our chat, I thanked D for coming out to me and trusting me with his secret as I assured him that it is safe with me.