Crazy policy at RITM-ARG

I don't know exactly when it was implemented but I believe it was in the middle or past middle of last year.  I am referring to the new policy at the Aids Research Group (ARG) at the Research Institute for Tropical Medicine (RITM) whereby those who would undergo CD4 count should be at the clinic between 7 and 8 a.m. from that time on.  No CD4 count requests will be entertained after that.  If a PLHIV misses his CD4 count appointment, he or she will have to take the next one SIX MONTHS AFTER. I call that crazy but I will get to that in awhile.

Let me digress for a moment.  In the past, CD4 counts are done every Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at RITM and PLHIVs who need to go through it have until 10 a.m. to do so. It was good and didn't need to be changed until last year. As they say, if it ain't broke, why fix it?

Anyway, when I went to the RITM-ARG sometime August or September last year, I was surprised to find an announcement on the way setting a new schedule for CD4 count. Weekdays and between 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. only. Okay, I told myself, I will just have to get up really early when I'm due to have my CD4 count (the last one I had in April last year was 407 or 409).

I talked to Nurse Maram (in-charge of laboratory tests for PLHIVs) and she informed me of the new policy so my CD4 count was set on October 26, 2012. She asked for my contact number so she can text and remind me of it prior to the date it is supposed to be done.

Unfortunately, I forgot all about my CD4 schedule because I was really busy at work and I didn't receive any text from RITM-ARG reminding me about it as Nurse Maram had assured me. So I texted Ate Ellen and Ate Beth or RITM-ARG if I can have it reset to November or December at the latest. They referred the matter to Nurse Maram who adamantly rejected my request to reschedule my CD4 count to April 11, 2013. Geez!

Now my concern is this: what if my CD4 on October last year had dropped dangerously low which I will never know because Nurse Maram said I can only have my next CD4 count in April. And what if something bad happened to me because my CD4 was already very low and it wasn't known because Nurse Maram rejected my request to have it reset to November or December.  Nurse Maram is to blame for it.

Anyway, I hope the RITM-ARG would think of possible scenarios relative to a change in any policy or rules that might put a PLHIV at a disadvantage.  Lives are at stake here.  They should always be aware of that.

Battle-weary

It's 1:50 a.m. and I write this while I am at work, trying so hard to fight off the lethargy while suffering from lower back pain. On top of that, I am dizzy and depressed.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I lasted posted a blog, the main reason for which is fever (as a side effect of the ARVs I began taking) struck me down. It was after breakfast last May 4 at the Batangas resort where we had our company outing that I suddenly felt ill. I decided to take a nap and woke up feeling fine. On the road back to Manila, the sick feeling began creeping in again. I tried to shrug it off. When I got home, I was so beat that I could went straight to bed after taking my clothes off. Then fever set it. I texted Ate Ana and informed her of my condition, while updating her on my temperature. I also stopped taking Nevirapine and did not take paracetamol as instructed. I was also itching all over so badly, I couldn't sleep. My partner accompanied me to RITM on May 7 where the doctor took a look at me and prescribed another ARV - Efavirenz. I was forewarned to expect skin rashes to appear after the fever and to go back to RITM IF THE SKIN RASHES get worse. The next day, May 8, the skin rashes appeared.... they were a few at first on my neck and arms but as the day progressed, it grew in number. Oh God, I prayed, please don't let this spread all over my face as well. It didn't, thank God!

The itchiness, lethargy and fever made me stay in bed the whole day of Saturday until Sunday. I barely slept for 2 days because I was rubbing my skin most of the time to ease the itch. I broke down while watching the Sunday Mass on TV. I couldn't handle this any longer, I told myself. I texted J and D. I told them how the rashes are making me depressed when I look at it and when I look at myself in the mirror. The reality of my status struck me harder than ever with the rashes I see on my body. They told me to cheer up and assured me that it will be all over soon.

Monday, election day, came and the itchiness had stopped but I was weak and had barely enough appetite to eat. The elections kept my mind preoccupied for the most part of the day. I was in bed most of the day on Tuesday like the previous day. Wednesday came and I texted P to ask how he was while letting out my angst. I saw to it that I got as much rest as I could for the night's work. Usually, it took me less than 15 minutes to walk from the house to the office but because I was dizzy and weak, it took longer. I took small steps and walked slowly...

I am weary to the bone. It isn't even the middle of the year yet but things have already been physically and emotionally taxing for me. From getting confined to pneumonia last March to knowing my status that same month and now I am going through the adverse side effects of the ARVs.

I am on the verge of surrendering... of giving up the fight against this virus and let it take its course. I don't want to be lethargic anymore, I don't want to be dizzy and nauseous anymore, I don't want to have fever again. I can't take seeing these spots on my body. I want to be free from the discomfort and pain....I want to rest...