Discrimination in one's family

I read awhile ago in a Facebook group created for PLHIVs, advocates and supporters about two young Filipino PLHIVs who have been ostracized/disowned/kicked out of their families. According to the post in that group, the two PLHIVs need temporary accommodations and food to sustain them.  They are both working and need a place to stay, something they can only do after office hours.  This isn't the first time I have come across such cases though.

Their situation makes me very sad and very angry at their families for doing such a thing.  It maybe due to ignorance of the manageable ailment, disgust, anger, denial or whatever.

It is very sad to learn when a young PLHIV, who has just learned of his status and is at a loss on how to deal with it, gets kicked out of his or her family, which should be the first one to support and understand him or her.

I don't mean to rub salt on those PLHIV's wounds, so to speak, but I am lucky that when I came out to my two siblings (we don't have parents anymore), they were devastated to learn of my status but they didn't have second thoughts giving their complete support and understanding.

This brings mean to the issue of coming out about one's status-to whom or when do we do it.  I believe that before a PLHIV, especially one who is newly-diagnosed, should come out to anyone, including his or her family, the PLHIV should be equipped with adequate knowledge of HIV and AIDS so that if questions arise from the person or persons the PLHIV comes out, he or she can give a sufficient answer.

Know the level of knowledge of the person or persons you plan to come out to. A PLHIV can do this without necessarily revealing his or her status but through general or generic questions.  From there, the PLHIV will determine if he or she can be trusted and he or she can be assured of that person's complete support, understanding and can be bound to secrecy.  I can say that the lesser a person knows about HIV and AIDS, the higher the likelihood or chance that person will discriminate a PLHIV.

A PLHIV should take time before coming out to anyone.  He or she should think it over several times before doing so.  Consider the pros and cons.  Be completely ready-emotionally and psychologically-in coming out.  It is not easy coming out to anyone about one's status.  I should know because I've been through it.

And lastly, Pray. Pray to Him for guidance, strength and help in what you will do.  Believe me, prayers can do wonders.

Paranoia

Ever since I learned about my status more than four months ago, I've began reading up on materials on HIV and related topics to beef up whatever limited stock knowledge I have of the medical condition. I can say I have learned a lot but I am not yet an expert as I am still learning more and more about HIV.

Part of the reason why I decided to learn more about HIV is that I know how paranoia and even the lack of knowledge about the virus can affect me in more ways than one, even paralyze me in fear.

And I've encountered those whose paranoia have gotten to them.

Case # 1 - Pozzie A has two kids in the same house where he lives. They're actually children of his female housemate. He is scared that he might infect them by simply living with them.

Case # 2 - OFW has had as many HIV tests as he already had after an unprotected sex with a female sex worker. All test, done within the window period and even beyond, proved non-reactive but he is still worried that he has HIV because he does not trust the veracity of the test results and efficiency of the test kits. He has lost sleep, worrying over whether he is indeed non-reactive.

These are just two of the several cases of paranoid individuals that I've encountered.

One thing that is common among the stories I've come across is that the letter writers or concerned individuals resort to self-diagnosis or base their status on the symptoms they have even if the symptoms do not necessarily mean they are positive for HIV but for other ailments. They are scared of taking the test and with this, I encourage them to take it because that is the only way they would know what exactly are they sick of and their status.

Some take the test after much encouragement and gathering the guts to do so and they turn out non-reactive or negative for HIV. Whatever symptoms they had indicated other illnesses. Others are still scared of taking the test.

Paranoia won't get anybody anywhere and can even eat a person alive. The only way to address it or stop their fear is to know one's status so that whatever it is, he or she will be guided accordingly.