I had a recent conversation with the top honcho of Pinoy Plus, a non-government organization (NGO) that caters to and supports people living with HIV (PLHIV) or pozzies, if you may.
He revealed that this year, the country registered the highest increase of HIV cases on a per day basis. I repeat, per day not per month. And whereas migrant workers was the sector where most HIV cases were recorded in the past, it has now shifted to the MSM or men who have sex with men group. Not only that, transmission has become more localized.
He also said that in previous years, the country would only have one case of HIV recorded a day. It became two cases a day starting early this year and then last May, it jumped to five cases per day. New infections make up most of the new cases while the rest are long-time carriers of the virus who only knew about their status recently when they decided to take a HIV test after becoming more aware of the need to know their status.
If it is any consolation, he added, the Philippines still has one of the lowest prevalence rate of HIV/Aids cases in the world.
Much really needs to be done to stem the continuing rise of HIV cases in the country. This can be done through an aggressive promotion of the awareness of HIV/Aids in the country by the public and private sectors. We should all act now lest we see a HIV/Aids epidemic blow up in our faces in the near future.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Unexpected
What I thought was going to be an uneventful evening at work turned out otherwise. The surprise that left me speechless for several seconds wasn't even work-related but involved coming out regarding my medical condition to my 19-year-old nephew.
First off, let me say that this nephew of mine is my godchild. He is the eldest of my younger sister's two kids. He WAS a black sheep in our family, so much so that he gave his mother, stepfather, us - his uncle and aunt, and younger brother heartaches and headache. I say WAS because we've noticed a welcome change in his behavior and his dealings with us recently.
I was online at Facebook when a chat window popped up. It was my nephew. Right after the hi's and hellos, he told me straight-up that his stepfather revealed my medical status to him. I was shocked and I didn't reply for almost a minute. I didn't know what to say. I was unsure how he would take it if I confirmed that I was positive for HIV, emotional and easily impressionable as he was at his age, and I was also afraid that I would lose his respect for me. I also didn't know the level of knowledge he had about HIV.
My nephew said his stepfather had to tell him my status after he insisted on knowing what it was when his stepdad committed a slip of the tongue and mentioned that I was ill. Bothered by what his stepdad said, he pestered his stepfather for days about what exactly I was ill of.
My nephew told me he felt bad with me, his mom and stepdad because we did not tell him about it right away. I had to explain to him that I had left it to his mother and stepdad the decision whether or not to tell him and his brother about my medical condition and it wasn't that easy to reveal.
I apologized that we had to keep it a secret from his at first and he understood. But what touched me the most was when he said he has been praying for me. I was teary-eyed.
I tried to gauge his level of knowledge about HIV and I could say he knows relatively well about it, presumably because he had been briefed by his stepdad about it. He only asked about the antiretrovirals that I was taking and what was it for.
Our conversation ended on a nice note and on hindsight, I was relieved that my nephew took it well and I have his love and support.
First off, let me say that this nephew of mine is my godchild. He is the eldest of my younger sister's two kids. He WAS a black sheep in our family, so much so that he gave his mother, stepfather, us - his uncle and aunt, and younger brother heartaches and headache. I say WAS because we've noticed a welcome change in his behavior and his dealings with us recently.
I was online at Facebook when a chat window popped up. It was my nephew. Right after the hi's and hellos, he told me straight-up that his stepfather revealed my medical status to him. I was shocked and I didn't reply for almost a minute. I didn't know what to say. I was unsure how he would take it if I confirmed that I was positive for HIV, emotional and easily impressionable as he was at his age, and I was also afraid that I would lose his respect for me. I also didn't know the level of knowledge he had about HIV.
My nephew said his stepfather had to tell him my status after he insisted on knowing what it was when his stepdad committed a slip of the tongue and mentioned that I was ill. Bothered by what his stepdad said, he pestered his stepfather for days about what exactly I was ill of.
My nephew told me he felt bad with me, his mom and stepdad because we did not tell him about it right away. I had to explain to him that I had left it to his mother and stepdad the decision whether or not to tell him and his brother about my medical condition and it wasn't that easy to reveal.
I apologized that we had to keep it a secret from his at first and he understood. But what touched me the most was when he said he has been praying for me. I was teary-eyed.
I tried to gauge his level of knowledge about HIV and I could say he knows relatively well about it, presumably because he had been briefed by his stepdad about it. He only asked about the antiretrovirals that I was taking and what was it for.
Our conversation ended on a nice note and on hindsight, I was relieved that my nephew took it well and I have his love and support.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Life is a..... beach
Two weekends ago, my partner and I were resting on White Beach in Boracay. As I gazed at the horizon, I could not help but be thankful for that travel opportunity that I initially thought had fizzled after I learned that I was HIV-positive because of the uncertainty of the times that lay ahead. We had planned this trip last year yet to coincide with our second anniversary as a couple and during the long weekend as a result of National Heroes Day falling on a Monday.
But last June, my partner decided to work on that travel plan when my health checkups had stabilized. It was going to be his first time in Boracay while it was going to be my second visit. I first stepped on the white fine sand of White Beach in 2007 and I was alone on that trip. It was supposed to be a trip for me and partner that year but we broke up before the trip so I had to go alone. In a way, the Boracay sojourn then served as healing time for me.
Anyway, last August 27, my partner and I were all packed and ready to go. I was groggy from the ARVs I took and I haven't slept yet as I had come from work the previous night. We brought along our "child", a stuffed tiger toy we named Pepeton (he looks like Tigger in Winnie the Pooh). We got at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (Naia) 3 three hours ahead of our flight time (11:30 a.m.) so we had snacks at the mezzanine lounge. We checked in our luggage, had snacks again and then waited for our flight. We left Naia 3 on time and landed almost an hour after at Caticlan. We were met by the land transfer representative and then checked into the hotel. After dumping our bags, we both proceeded to White Beach and walked from D'Mall area in Station 2 to the end of Station 3 and back. We went back to the hotel where I slept while my partner took photos of the beach and of Pepeton on the beach as well. Cute. :)
The next day, our second anniversary, we walked from D'Mall up to the grotto in Station 1 and back. Went for a swim, had lunch, went to the hotel for a nap and to cap off the evening, we had dinner in Aria, one of the fancy Italian restoes there and a night cap in Juice Bar.
August 29, we swam again, had lunch and then attended Holy Mass. The day ended with the both of us tired from going around but happy.
We left Boracay with a somewhat heavy heart on August 30 and the weather, just like during our entire stay, was perfect and sunny. We wished we didn't have to go back to the urban jungles of Metro Manila but we had work ahead of us. We both decided we will go back in August next year, God-willing, to celebrate our third anniversary there. :)
But last June, my partner decided to work on that travel plan when my health checkups had stabilized. It was going to be his first time in Boracay while it was going to be my second visit. I first stepped on the white fine sand of White Beach in 2007 and I was alone on that trip. It was supposed to be a trip for me and partner that year but we broke up before the trip so I had to go alone. In a way, the Boracay sojourn then served as healing time for me.
Anyway, last August 27, my partner and I were all packed and ready to go. I was groggy from the ARVs I took and I haven't slept yet as I had come from work the previous night. We brought along our "child", a stuffed tiger toy we named Pepeton (he looks like Tigger in Winnie the Pooh). We got at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport (Naia) 3 three hours ahead of our flight time (11:30 a.m.) so we had snacks at the mezzanine lounge. We checked in our luggage, had snacks again and then waited for our flight. We left Naia 3 on time and landed almost an hour after at Caticlan. We were met by the land transfer representative and then checked into the hotel. After dumping our bags, we both proceeded to White Beach and walked from D'Mall area in Station 2 to the end of Station 3 and back. We went back to the hotel where I slept while my partner took photos of the beach and of Pepeton on the beach as well. Cute. :)
The next day, our second anniversary, we walked from D'Mall up to the grotto in Station 1 and back. Went for a swim, had lunch, went to the hotel for a nap and to cap off the evening, we had dinner in Aria, one of the fancy Italian restoes there and a night cap in Juice Bar.
August 29, we swam again, had lunch and then attended Holy Mass. The day ended with the both of us tired from going around but happy.
We left Boracay with a somewhat heavy heart on August 30 and the weather, just like during our entire stay, was perfect and sunny. We wished we didn't have to go back to the urban jungles of Metro Manila but we had work ahead of us. We both decided we will go back in August next year, God-willing, to celebrate our third anniversary there. :)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Paranoia
Ever since I learned about my status more than four months ago, I've began reading up on materials on HIV and related topics to beef up whatever limited stock knowledge I have of the medical condition. I can say I have learned a lot but I am not yet an expert as I am still learning more and more about HIV.
Part of the reason why I decided to learn more about HIV is that I know how paranoia and even the lack of knowledge about the virus can affect me in more ways than one, even paralyze me in fear.
And I've encountered those whose paranoia have gotten to them.
Case # 1 - Pozzie A has two kids in the same house where he lives. They're actually children of his female housemate. He is scared that he might infect them by simply living with them.
Case # 2 - OFW has had as many HIV tests as he already had after an unprotected sex with a female sex worker. All test, done within the window period and even beyond, proved non-reactive but he is still worried that he has HIV because he does not trust the veracity of the test results and efficiency of the test kits. He has lost sleep, worrying over whether he is indeed non-reactive.
These are just two of the several cases of paranoid individuals that I've encountered.
One thing that is common among the stories I've come across is that the letter writers or concerned individuals resort to self-diagnosis or base their status on the symptoms they have even if the symptoms do not necessarily mean they are positive for HIV but for other ailments. They are scared of taking the test and with this, I encourage them to take it because that is the only way they would know what exactly are they sick of and their status.
Some take the test after much encouragement and gathering the guts to do so and they turn out non-reactive or negative for HIV. Whatever symptoms they had indicated other illnesses. Others are still scared of taking the test.
Paranoia won't get anybody anywhere and can even eat a person alive. The only way to address it or stop their fear is to know one's status so that whatever it is, he or she will be guided accordingly.
Part of the reason why I decided to learn more about HIV is that I know how paranoia and even the lack of knowledge about the virus can affect me in more ways than one, even paralyze me in fear.
And I've encountered those whose paranoia have gotten to them.
Case # 1 - Pozzie A has two kids in the same house where he lives. They're actually children of his female housemate. He is scared that he might infect them by simply living with them.
Case # 2 - OFW has had as many HIV tests as he already had after an unprotected sex with a female sex worker. All test, done within the window period and even beyond, proved non-reactive but he is still worried that he has HIV because he does not trust the veracity of the test results and efficiency of the test kits. He has lost sleep, worrying over whether he is indeed non-reactive.
These are just two of the several cases of paranoid individuals that I've encountered.
One thing that is common among the stories I've come across is that the letter writers or concerned individuals resort to self-diagnosis or base their status on the symptoms they have even if the symptoms do not necessarily mean they are positive for HIV but for other ailments. They are scared of taking the test and with this, I encourage them to take it because that is the only way they would know what exactly are they sick of and their status.
Some take the test after much encouragement and gathering the guts to do so and they turn out non-reactive or negative for HIV. Whatever symptoms they had indicated other illnesses. Others are still scared of taking the test.
Paranoia won't get anybody anywhere and can even eat a person alive. The only way to address it or stop their fear is to know one's status so that whatever it is, he or she will be guided accordingly.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
It feels good
As soon as I settle down in my desk when I arrive in the office, I always check my emails first before I browse local and foreign news websites, Philippine-based forums, Facebook, and of course my blog. In one of my email accounts, it was a pleasant surprise to receive a letter from a new pozzie who had just read my blog.
It warmed my heart when he said he was inspired by my posts and somewhat found comfort as he comes to terms with his status.
As someone who has made it a personal mission to engage in HIV awareness in whatever way he can and help out other pozzies as well, especially newbies, it feels so good when you get to help those with the same medical condition grapple with it and try to move on with life even if it is difficult at first.
I also give out information on HIV and related issues when needed. I don't claim to be an expert on HIV as I am still learning new things about it day by day but whatever I learn, I share it.
It's been more than four months since I learned about my status. I still have moments of depression and I still suffer from minor ailments/setbacks either due to adjustment to the antiretrovirals or my CD4 may have dropped due to my work schedule. But I see to it that I get over my depression or get medical treatment when necessary. I get to encounter problems related to my medical condition but I get over them after awhile.
When those "bad times" strike, I remind myself of my advocacy to help others and how lucky I still am for having learned about my status early so whatever physical discomforts and problems I am going through will come to pass. Above all, I bask in the support and love of my family, partner, and friends, all of whom help me make it through whenever I am down.
It warmed my heart when he said he was inspired by my posts and somewhat found comfort as he comes to terms with his status.
As someone who has made it a personal mission to engage in HIV awareness in whatever way he can and help out other pozzies as well, especially newbies, it feels so good when you get to help those with the same medical condition grapple with it and try to move on with life even if it is difficult at first.
I also give out information on HIV and related issues when needed. I don't claim to be an expert on HIV as I am still learning new things about it day by day but whatever I learn, I share it.
It's been more than four months since I learned about my status. I still have moments of depression and I still suffer from minor ailments/setbacks either due to adjustment to the antiretrovirals or my CD4 may have dropped due to my work schedule. But I see to it that I get over my depression or get medical treatment when necessary. I get to encounter problems related to my medical condition but I get over them after awhile.
When those "bad times" strike, I remind myself of my advocacy to help others and how lucky I still am for having learned about my status early so whatever physical discomforts and problems I am going through will come to pass. Above all, I bask in the support and love of my family, partner, and friends, all of whom help me make it through whenever I am down.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Fit for a movie
I was looking as far back in my life as I could remember when I realized that the experiences I had could make for a good movie script. I even wrote about it in my account in a social networking site and many of my friends commented on it. Some even wanting to be part of the film on my life - as if it was really going to happen. Haha.
But if it was going to be a movie, I really want Sid Lucero to play me. He is such a brilliant actor but so underrated.
There is a specific part of my life that I want to be made into a movie, it would have to be about my status. It would start off on how I got the virus, how did I learn about it, the hardships I experienced, the effect on my family, etc. The range of emotions is all there and it would be a great acting vehicle for any actor. The movie on my life can serve as a lesson to others - not to commit the same mistakes I did, much like previous movies on Aids victims Sarah Jane Salazar that starred Gelli de Belen and Dolzura Cortez starring Vilma Santos. The difference the movie on my life would be is that it involves a gay person living with HIV - his viewpoint, the difficulties he faces, experiences that are uniquely his.
A friend of mine told me to pen my life story and peddle it to the film studios. I don't have time for that but I would be open to an interview. Would a scriptwriter out there be interested in my story? Let's see.
But if it was going to be a movie, I really want Sid Lucero to play me. He is such a brilliant actor but so underrated.
There is a specific part of my life that I want to be made into a movie, it would have to be about my status. It would start off on how I got the virus, how did I learn about it, the hardships I experienced, the effect on my family, etc. The range of emotions is all there and it would be a great acting vehicle for any actor. The movie on my life can serve as a lesson to others - not to commit the same mistakes I did, much like previous movies on Aids victims Sarah Jane Salazar that starred Gelli de Belen and Dolzura Cortez starring Vilma Santos. The difference the movie on my life would be is that it involves a gay person living with HIV - his viewpoint, the difficulties he faces, experiences that are uniquely his.
A friend of mine told me to pen my life story and peddle it to the film studios. I don't have time for that but I would be open to an interview. Would a scriptwriter out there be interested in my story? Let's see.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Life can be so unfair
There are times when life can be unfair and one of those unfortunate moments happened last Monday.
It was just a few hours into my shift when I received a memorandum from my boss that contained a verbal warning for having incurred six absences without pay last May. In our company, we are only allowed to have three unpaid absences in a month. I was shocked at I felt the blood rush to my head in anger. What the fuck is this?!! I was so demoralized.
Those absences were adequately covered by 2 medical certificates and I incurred them because those were the days when I fell ill - fever and skin rashes - side effects of one of the antiretrovirals (ARVs) I was taking. I had myself checked by a doctor at RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine) and I made sure that I had medical certificates to explain my absences incurred last May 5, 6, 7, 11, 13, 14. And because I was concerned over my absences and "for love of the company," I even forced myself to work on May 12, which wasn't a good idea because I was not in good shape.
I didn't sign the memorandum right away to acknowledge its receipt and texted our administrative supervisor to ask why did I get a memorandum when I was able to submit medical certificates for it. She said she will look into it.
The next day (Tuesday), I was told that my boss instructed our administrative supervisor to issue the memorandum to me DESPITE (!) the medical certificates I submitted. Wow! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't feel like going to work that night as I lapsed into depression and because of my anger, it caused a severe strain on my relationship with my partner as a result of a quarrel I had with him over what happened at work and how unfair our boss was. He and I work in the same company and are under the same boss.
I still went to work and immediately wrote a letter to my boss, asking him to reconsider his decision to issue the memorandum and withdraw it as I explained that I submitted medical certificates to explain my absences and did so out of good faith. This, even if I know that my boss is not the kind of person who changes his mind and sticks to his decisions, even if they may be unreasonable.
Sometime during my shift, however, my elder sister chatted with me and I told her what happened. She explained to me that at the end of the day, it is really my boss's discretion to approve or disapprove leaves without pay even if they are covered by medical certificates and he was just implementing company rules. She prevailed upon me to take back my letter to my boss, which I did, after which I signed the memorandum. I told my elder sister that I still felt very aggrieved over what my boss did because I didn't want to get sick (who wants to get sick anyway?!!) and the fact remains that my absences were adequately explained by the medical certificates.
My depression carried over the next day (Wednesday). I felt so low and was not feeling well that I called in sick at work. My relationship with my partner is still strained and I told him that I would prefer to be silent lest I do or say something that might only make matters worse between us. I can see that he is doing his darnest best to reach out to me but I'd want to have time to get over my depression and anger. The reality of my status, the hardships I went through and the unfair treatment I got from my boss caused me to question my faith and question God.
Hopefully, things will be okay soon.
It was just a few hours into my shift when I received a memorandum from my boss that contained a verbal warning for having incurred six absences without pay last May. In our company, we are only allowed to have three unpaid absences in a month. I was shocked at I felt the blood rush to my head in anger. What the fuck is this?!! I was so demoralized.
Those absences were adequately covered by 2 medical certificates and I incurred them because those were the days when I fell ill - fever and skin rashes - side effects of one of the antiretrovirals (ARVs) I was taking. I had myself checked by a doctor at RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine) and I made sure that I had medical certificates to explain my absences incurred last May 5, 6, 7, 11, 13, 14. And because I was concerned over my absences and "for love of the company," I even forced myself to work on May 12, which wasn't a good idea because I was not in good shape.
I didn't sign the memorandum right away to acknowledge its receipt and texted our administrative supervisor to ask why did I get a memorandum when I was able to submit medical certificates for it. She said she will look into it.
The next day (Tuesday), I was told that my boss instructed our administrative supervisor to issue the memorandum to me DESPITE (!) the medical certificates I submitted. Wow! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't feel like going to work that night as I lapsed into depression and because of my anger, it caused a severe strain on my relationship with my partner as a result of a quarrel I had with him over what happened at work and how unfair our boss was. He and I work in the same company and are under the same boss.
I still went to work and immediately wrote a letter to my boss, asking him to reconsider his decision to issue the memorandum and withdraw it as I explained that I submitted medical certificates to explain my absences and did so out of good faith. This, even if I know that my boss is not the kind of person who changes his mind and sticks to his decisions, even if they may be unreasonable.
Sometime during my shift, however, my elder sister chatted with me and I told her what happened. She explained to me that at the end of the day, it is really my boss's discretion to approve or disapprove leaves without pay even if they are covered by medical certificates and he was just implementing company rules. She prevailed upon me to take back my letter to my boss, which I did, after which I signed the memorandum. I told my elder sister that I still felt very aggrieved over what my boss did because I didn't want to get sick (who wants to get sick anyway?!!) and the fact remains that my absences were adequately explained by the medical certificates.
My depression carried over the next day (Wednesday). I felt so low and was not feeling well that I called in sick at work. My relationship with my partner is still strained and I told him that I would prefer to be silent lest I do or say something that might only make matters worse between us. I can see that he is doing his darnest best to reach out to me but I'd want to have time to get over my depression and anger. The reality of my status, the hardships I went through and the unfair treatment I got from my boss caused me to question my faith and question God.
Hopefully, things will be okay soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)