Thursday, May 20, 2010

Missing my Mom

As I usually do, I scan web videos while at work, a privilege I enjoy since I don't have that much to do in the office especially during the wee hours of the morning. Mind you, these are wholesome videos I watch at Youtube, Facebook and the Ellen Degeneres Show website. In the latter, it featured videos of the 80th birthday celebration of Ellen's mom. As I was watching the videos, I was overcome by emotion. It's been 9 years since Mom passed away but her absence still tugs at my heart every now and then.

I thought -- would things have turned out differently if my mother was still alive today? If she was still around, would I have remained "clean?". I believe that if my Mom was still alive today, I would not have gone astray in terms of my sexual behavior and remained focused on giving her as much a comfortable life that she deserved.

I am sure Mom knows what I am going through right now and that she watching over me, praying for me perhaps, as I overcome the hardships that come with my health status.

I love you Mom and I miss you.

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