So alone

I woke up early Monday to go to RITM. Since it was the first day of the workweek, traffic from my place to SM Makati was quite heavy. The bus trip from Edsa to Alabang however was fast and smooth so that I reached Alabang in less than 45 minutes, mainly because I was not going with the rush hour traffic to Makati.

Upon arriving at RITM, I went to straight to the pulmonary clinic and looked for Ana, who was on day-off however so I asked the male staffer who was on duty to check my PPD skin test shot and I was negative of any pulmonary disease, notably TB. Whew! I proceeded to the clinical laboratory to submit my stool sample then left RITM. I informed Ana through text that I already submitted my stool sample and had my PPD shot checked. I had to be back home as early as I can so I could get enough sleep since I had work Monday night.

During the ride back to Makati, I suddenly felt lonely, alone in my misery. The bus was packed with passengers but I felt as if I was the only person in it. The fact that I am HIV positive hit me hard again.

Even if I enjoy the continued love and support of my partner, my family and friends after they learned of my condition, for which I am very thankful for, I would want to talk and bond with my fellow pozzies to share experiences, to learn a thing or two from them. It's a comfort when you get to bond with someone in the same situation as you are, especially for those like me who have been newly-diagnosed as positive. I am in the dark about a lot of things related to living with HIV and I don't know what norms are there among the "pozzies", if there are.

I wish there was a support group of "pozzies" that regularly meets, on a weekend perhaps because there's no work. I think that is what is lacking in the "poz" community.

Oh well...