I was going through my mailman bag last night to get my the laboratory test results I got earlier during the day so that I can put it in order when I saw my confirmatory test results again. I stared at it and then sadness enveloped me like a heavy blanket. I wanted to cry but found it hard to let it out.
The results showing that I am HIV positive has apparently not sunk in completely yet.
I am angry at myself for letting this happen. Because I threw caution to the wind and let my want for sex get the better of me, I got infected and it has turned my life upside down.
And the hard part still has to come -- informing my two sisters (the only remaining members of my immediate family since our parents have passed) about my status.
The news will surely be a very difficult one for them to receive and I hope to keep my emotions in check when I tell them.
I have to move on with life and not get mired in depression lest it weakens my immune system but there are moments when it takes an effort to be optimistic about things. Sigh
Cheer up buddy. It's okay to be a little sad, but do remember, you have to keep moving forward with your life :)
ReplyDelete-Lucky Trese
thanks trese. i appreciate it. yeah, i have to keep moving on.
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